BUHARI CALLS OSINBAJO FROM LONDON

Grii! grrii! grim!!!

Buhari:
Aloooooo!

Osinbajo:
Yellooooo!

Buhari:
A u dia?

Osinbajo:
Yes Sir, Alhaji President.

Buhari:
How is my favorite Pastor doing?

Osinbajo:
I am okay, Sir.

Buhari:
Now that you have fired Lawan Daura, you need to fire Kemi Adeosun to make it 1:1.

Osinbajo:
What do you mean by 1:1? There are more corrupt Northerners in your Cabinet than Southerners. Why do you want me to do your dirty job? You plan these things and conveniently go on a sick vacation to London.
The last time you were on a sick vacation, I fired Babachir who used 1 trillion Naira to cut Aso Rock grass. One trillion Naira can cut the whole grass in Nigeria.
Better return and fire Adeosun. If I fire her, you lose the Yoruba vote, if you fire her, you lose the Yoruba vote, if you do not fire her you lose the Nigerian vote. Make your choice.

Buhari:
Can you convince her to resign?

Osinbajo:
How can she resign when she is sitting on trillions of Naira and billions of dollars? She will not resign. She is a stubborn Yoruba woman. Her husband cannot mess with her. Remember she schooled in the United Kingdom.

Buhari:
Can you offer her a deal to resign in exchange for a buyout in the billions of Naira? Her continued stay in office is hurting my anti-corruption war?

Osinbajo:
Which war? Nigerians are beginning to see through our fake anti-corruption war, especially with Akpabio defecting to our party. The joke is that, the APC means Another Platform for Corruption.

Buhari:
Call me before you make any serious decision. Remember you are an Acting President, not the President. Always check with Mustapha and Monguno before you take any major decision.

Osinbajo:
Thank you Baba. Just come back as soon as you can, to take over this headache. You can return with the rest of your shots. I believe Nigerian Physicians are capable of administering injections. After all, your son who broke his head on the pavement, while riding a 50 million Naira power bike, was treated in Abuja.

Buhari:
Thank you for doing a good job, Pastor Osinbade. I will bring some biscuits and apples for you.

Osinbajo:
You are welcome Sir. It is Osinbajo, not Osinbade. And have a good night sleep.