AFRICASTALLESTMAN INTERVIEWS US PRESIDENT DONALD J. TRUMP.

AFRICASTALLESTMAN INTERVIEWS US PRESIDENT DONALD J. TRUMP.

Africastallestman:
Good afternoon Mr. President.

President Trump:
Good afternoon Africastallestman.

Africastallestman:
You are a very warm person. Why would you give an interview to a journalist from a shithole continent?

President Trump:
Thanks Africastallestman. I am glad that you brought up the shithole comment. Political opponents are always misinterpreting my comments. Take for example Nigeria. There is poop everywhere according to Ambassador Stuart Symington.
Cows use the same roadways and highways as people.
In Abuja, the political capital and Lagos, the commercial capital, there are cows and cow poop everywhere. The whole country is one big cow toilet. Wouldn’t you describe such a country as shithole?

Africastallestman:
You are absolutely right; Mr. President, Nigeria is one big shithole as long as the country is one big grazing field for Fulani cows. I understand that the President, a Fulani, wants to turn the entire country into one big cattle ranch. President Muhammadu Buhari, a cattle herder, has a bill dubbed, “The National Grazing Reserve Council Bill” before the Nigerian National Assembly for this purpose.

President Trump:
None of the press reported that Nigeria is one big toilet for cows but they are insinuating that I called Nigerians shitholes. I have many hardworking Nigerians in my Trump Organization and they are cleaners, cooks, doormen, janitors, and messengers. If I thought that they are shitholes, why would I employ them in my tremendous organization, tremendous?

Africastallestman:
I see your point Sir; your business does not discriminate. Do you have any Nigerian in the executive cadre of your organization?

President Trump:
I am sure that they will get there one day. However, from our research, Norwegians make better managers and our guests adore their blonde hair and blue eyes. My employment of Norwegian managers is a business decision. I am signing an Executive Order next week that will increase the quota for Norwegian immigrants.

Africastallestman:
What of Haiti, Guatemala, and El Salvador, which you also described as shitholes?

President Trump:
Haiti is a bigger shithole than Nigeria. Nigeria has a cow shit problem, but Haiti has a human shit problem. Everyone remembers the cholera epidemic in Haiti caused by Nepalese United Nations soldiers infected with cholera. Humans poop everywhere in Haiti as there are no modern sanitation services. The human shit got into the water supply and sickened and killed thousands of Haitians.
In El Salvador, the entire country is in big shit. Drug cartels run everything including the government. People are slaughtered like chicken and unaccompanied minors as young as 9 years are hopping on freight trains and entering America illegally. Guatemala is in the same shit.
President Obama encouraged this behavior by establishing CAM (Central American Minors), a program that encouraged illegal migration from Central America. I will reverse all the Obama mistakes with my pen.
There are mistakes on immigration, global warming, trade, environment, gays, transvestites, national parks, schools, North Korea, and nuclear button.

Africastallestman:
Nuclear button?

President Trump:
Yes, the American nuclear button was literally a button. It was as small as a black shirt button and difficult to find amongst the clutter on my table in the Oval Office. I have installed a very big red nuclear button that is very visible. It is the biggest nuclear button in the world. It is huge, huge, huge. It is as big as those buttons on TV game shows.
Imagine if North Korea attacked us and the President is looking for a small black button. By the time he finds the button, we will all be toast.

Africastallestman:
Why did you move the US Embassy from Tel Aviv to Jerusalem?

President Trump:
Every US President since George Washington has campaigned on moving our Embassy to Jerusalem but reneged on assuming office. I will keep all my campaign promises.

Africastallestman:
Since George Washington?

President Trump:
Yes, Jerusalem has been the capital of Israel for over three thousand years. I am cutting off US funds to the United Nations and all nations that voted against my Embassy move. Guatemala may be taken off the list of shithole countries for moving her Embassy to Jerusalem.

Africastallestman:
Some attribute the recent huge gains in the stock market to Obama era policies. Do you agree?

President Trump:
I said during my campaign that I would make America Great Again. For goodness sake, I was a billionaire before I became President. What business did Obama run before he became President? Wall Street recognizes that a successful business billionaire is in charge and that the economy can only go up.

Africastallestman:
What do you think about Michael Wolff and Steve Bannon?

President Trump:
Michael Wolff is a fake journalist writing fake stories about the White House. I cannot recognize the man if I see him and he claims to have interviewed me. Steve Bannon became unhinged after I fired him for claiming to have made me President. Where was Steve Bannon when I beat 20 of the best, best, in fact, the “bestest” qualified candidates during the Republican Primaries. Any of those candidates can beat Obama or Clinton.
Instead of directing their anger at Rocket Man, they are attacking me with “Fire and Fury.” This is the same fire and fury that I promised to unleash on North Korea. How unpatriotic can some people be? Robert Mueller should be investigating the two of them.

Africastallestman:
Are you about to fire Robert Mueller, the Special Counsel?

President Trump:
Robert Mueller is corrupt and we all know that he is a friend of James Comey. After spending $50 million, he still has not found any collusion between my campaign and the Russians. Hillary Clinton has so many enemies and I would not be surprised if some shithole country also tried to blackmail her.
If Robert Mueller does not round up his fake investigation in six months, I will have Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein fire him. If he refuses, I will have the Attorney General Jeff Sessions fire Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein and appoint Strom Thurmond in his place.

Africastallestman:
Isn’t Strom Thurmond, the South Carolina Senator that used to own slaves? He died at 120 years a few years ago.

President Trump:
I meant Strom Thurmond, Jr., his black grandson. You see I do not discriminate. Michael Jackson, Shaquille O’Neal, and Otis Redding are some of my best friends and they are black. Did I forget my black confidante, Omarosa?

Africastallestman:
But most Blacks think that you are a racist and pander to white supremacists.

President Trump:
If making America Great Again, is racism and white supremacy, I am guilty as charged. We have to be careful whom we let into this country. The birthplace of the President before me may have been Kenya, Ethiopia, or Somalia. We still do not know but we must prevent such mistakes in the future. Some people have to speak up and I am not afraid to speak the truth. I did not get here by lying.

Africastallestman:
Sighs.
During your campaign you promised not to deport DACA (Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals) beneficiaries but you are getting ready to deport them unless Congress approves your border wall.

President Trump:
If there was a border wall, we will not be talking about DACA. After the Southern wall, we will also build a Northern wall to keep those Canadians from entering America illegally.

Africastallestman:
If there was a wall, your grandparents will still be in Europe milking cows.

President Trump:
Well, that was then and this is now. We have to stop illegal migration.

Africastallestman:
Your grandparents will qualify as illegal migrants and that is why we have to be careful labeling people.

President Trump:
Africastallestman, are you here legally? If not, I’ll have my Homeland Security Secretary deport you to one of those shithole countries. We do not want people from shithole countries coming over here in large numbers. If the trend continues, America will soon be a shithole country.

Africastallestman:
You seem to have another appointment. Thank you for making time out of your busy schedule to speak to a journalist from a shithole continent.

President Trump:
Yes, I am practicing pushing the nuclear button with General James ‘Mad Dog’ Mattis, and the Chairman Joint Chief of Staff, General Joseph Dunford. With a mad Rocket Man in North Korea, we have to be on high alert. Glad to have “Mad Dog” on my side.

Africastallestman:
Final question, Mr. President. What do you think about the NFL players kneeling during the National Anthem, Sexual Harassment, and Net Neutrality.

President Trump:
Triple barrel question in one. All Americans must respect our National Anthem and flag. If you don’t, we will deport you to one of the shithole countries. We must differentiate between sexual harassment and flirting or courting. How do you get a girlfriend or wife without talking to females? It is the male’s duty to ask for a female’s love and the female’s duty to accept or reject. The French actress Catherine Deneuve got it right when she said that, these allegations are getting out of hand.
Net neutrality is one way to kill the Internet and I reject it. Why do you think that they call it the Information Superhighway? Well, there are toll-free and toll roads on this highway. If you want your information to move fast, then pay the toll. Same applies to transportation, if you want to move people or goods faster, pay and use the toll road.
Do you have any other questions?

Africastallestman:
Why did you reject the new US Embassy in London?

President Trump:
President George W. Bush moved the US Embassy from Mayfair to Nine Elms. President George W. Bush did a lot of bad things including invading Iraq. He practically handed the country over to Obama on a platter of gold. President Obama should have blocked the relocation of the Embassy. Presidents use Executive Orders to correct mistakes made by other Presidents. It is similar to moving our Embassy from a Norwegian part of a country to a shithole part of a country.
Soon, I will sign an Executive Order, titled “Reversing All Obama Era Executive Orders.” This will spare me the ordeal of signing daily Executive Orders.

Africastallestman:
Thank you, President Trump; you are really making America Great Again.

President Trump:
Thank you Africastallestman. I wish that there were more Africans as tall intellectually as you.

 

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