Abuja, NIGERIA, August 23, 2017

PDP rats resident in Aso Rock wish to dissociate themselves from the recent invasion of the Presidential Office by APC rats. Contrary to the news release, jointly signed by Alhaji Lai Mohammed and Mallam Garba Shehu, that PDP rats broke into President Buhari’s office while he was being treated for an undisclosed illness in the U.K., it was APC rats that desecrated the office.

We, PDP rats respect authority and will never do anything to bring Nigeria to international disrepute. We lived with PDP Presidents from 1999 to 2015 and no one heard any rat tale. Rats are well-behaved animals that observe all human protocols. Have you observed rats in any rich (big man’s) home? We hide in the background and enjoy the leftovers. Once we announce our presence, our days are numbered as these rich people will deploy every weapon including nuclear bombs to exterminate us.

The APC cabal controlling President Buhari lured the APC rats with baits into the President’s office to create an excuse to shield him from the public. PDP rats denounced the APC rats and a rat fight broke out. A few rats on both sides were killed and their bodies can be seen littering the Aso Rock lawn. We PDP rats suspect that the President was driven from London, U.K. against the advice of his doctors by hostile human demonstrators. The President still needs oxygen six hours a day to augment his strength. Such procedures are better hidden from the public view, so the APC rats were lured into committing the Presidential mayhem.

As you humans know, where there are rats, snakes are not very far behind. We rats have avoided the Presidential living quarters because of the APC snakes. The President is better off in the company of rats than snakes. He will surely regret his move into the bedroom and maybe the other room. Better still, he should relocate to Jeddah, Riyadh, or Dubai to continue his treatment. The hospital in the Aso Rock living quarters is incapable of meeting his health needs.

Did rats prevent the Executive Council Meeting from holding today? Soon Alhaji Lai Mohammed and Mallam Garba Shehu will run out of rat and snake tales. The President is physically and mentally incapable of governing due to his undisclosed illness. Disclosing his illness may bring more needed help from Alfas, Maharajahs, Pentecostal Pastors, and Okija Priests.

The damage has been done, it is
all over the airwaves – BBC, VOA, AL JAZEERA, HKN, ITN, etc. The damage to Nigeria’s international reputation and economy is substantial. Which foreign investor or visitor will visit a country where the rats do not respect the President?

Now welcome to Nigeria where self-interest trumps National interest. The APC cabal have achieved their aim of hiding a sick President from the public while he is been coerced to sign away billions of Naira for their selfish and parochial interests.

Africastallestman urges you to stay tuned in, as the rat and snake melodrama is just unfolding.

Comments always welcome.

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