SPEAK RUSSIAN, GET INVADED BY CZAR PUTIN

Murmuring  rather than speaking, the men spoke in hushed tones
In a language mimicking a native American language.

Men dressed in parkas gathered around a bonfire,
Drinking vodka as it was bottled spring water and not 100 % proof alcohol.

Men who escaped the Russian Gulag by swimming across the Bering Strait to Alaska,
An escape undetected by Russia until a peripatetic CNN reported it.

By proclaiming their escapade to the world, they incurred Russia’s wrath, and
Poisoning attempts by Russia, failed to kill the dissidents in Alaska.

Russia wanting to protect Russian-speaking ‘Alaskans,’
Threatens to invade and annex Alaska, to protect the dissenters.

After all, Alaska was part of Russia as Crimea was part of Russia.
Claiming maltreatment of the Russian-speaking ‘Alaskans,’
Russia prepares for war.

Invasion of Alaska with tactical nukes commences and
The US High Command reciprocates by targeting Russia with tactical nukes.

The UN Security Council with the US and Russia as permanent members
Fail to agree on a binding resolution to cease hostilities.

Nuclear war erupts and the world is changed forever.
Coincidentally, Martians arrive to find a desolate and sterile Earth.