FLASHING NEWS! KIDNAPPERS HAIL NEW CBN POLICY.

FLASHING NEWS!
KIDNAPPERS HAIL NEW CBN POLICY.

The Armed Robbers Association of Nigeria (ARAN), the Fulani Terrorist Herdsmen Association (MACBAN), Boko Haram, and Al Qaeda Haram have hailed the new cashless deposit policy of the CBN (Central Bank of Nigeria). This policy levies usurious charges on bank deposits. While labeled as “cashless policy,” its real intention is to encourage a “cash policy.”
At the Kidnapping Summit just concluded at Abuja, they jointly agreed that the policy will encourage merchants and traders to travel with cash to avoid the new surcharges.

Addressing reporters after their joint summit at Forget Home Hotel™️, Abuja, Federal Capital Territory, the spokesperson for the group, Alhaji Nama Fansa claimed that their groups kidnap Nigerians because Nigerians stopped carrying cash. Continuing he stated, “The only way to finance our activities is by holding victims in captivity until their relatives pay for their freedom. With this new policy, we shall collect our ransom right at the time of kidnapping and release our victims immediately. It will also cut down on the cost of feeding and housing our victims.
Prior to the implementation of the “cashless policy” and ubiquity of POS (Point of Sale) devices, kidnapping was unheard of in Nigeria. We congratulate Alhaji Mohammed Gamali Emeifele (formerly Mr. Godwin Emefiele) for his foresight and management abilities. Poor Nigerians should support this laudable new policy.”

Who wants to pay a bank to deposit money in a bank?
Ever heard of a Central Bank running private banks and directing private financial institutions on ways of operating their businesses?
Why not turn the Central Bank of Nigeria into a Commercial Bank accepting deposits from the public?
Why go through third parties?
Is Nigeria a country?

Comments always welcome.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.