Wake up, wake up, President Alhaji Muhammadu Buhari.
Walahi Talahi!, how long have I been sleeping?
Over three years, Sir, election is around the corner.
Why didn’t you wake me up?
Wake up Sir, no way Sir, you are it.
Chei!, we must start campaigning immediately.
What happened while I was asleep?
Farcical concern by a clueless leader.
While you were sick or asleep,
Millions died of hunger and starvation,
Fulani Terrorist Herdsmen killed thousands,
Al-Qaeda Haram kidnapped Dapchi school girls,
Boko Haram still holding Chibok school girls,
Nigeria downgraded in corruption and transparency rankings,
The Naira became worthless, corruption grew wings,
And fuel lines in Lagos stretch all the way to Ibadan!
With elections looming, we must organize a tour.
How are the released terrorists doing?
Sir, they have converted to herdsmen.
They are looking for cattle colonies – killing locals.
Alright, let’s tour all the areas of massacres.
We will blame the massacres on unnamed, powerful,
And maybe foreign individuals who frequent Aso Rock
But are more powerful than me.
I can order the Army to kill peaceful IPOB protestors,
The Police to disarm Vigilantes guarding their communities,
From murderous Fulani Terrorist Herdsmen,
Arm or overlook AK-47s carried by herdsmen,
Confiscate all legally acquired pump action guns,
And imprison citizens, IPOB members, and powerful opponents.
However, these powerful individuals are too powerful,
My concern is that they do not invade Aso Rock.