RELIGIOMANIA

Religiomania is a new psychiatric illness prevalent in the developing world and in impoverished and depressed areas of the developed world. It is characterized by constant praying, spending hours in houses of worship, responding with Amen, in Jesus name, or I am blessed to greetings or compliments, lassitude (praying instead of working), tithing to the rich, writing chain letters that are going to enrich you if you send them to other gullible religionists or kill you if you don’t, to name a few symptoms. One other prominent symptom is trying to convert anybody who would give them audience to their newly found brand of Christianity. All of them claim to be born again Christians implying that there are “dead again” Christians. They also claim to be evangelists who are out to save us from eternal condemnation to the furnace in hell. Is it possible to avoid hell by cremating dead bodies on earth? This ought to be investigated.

I once asked one of these born again evangelists who claims that his denomination, which was founded less than 40 years ago, is the only gateway to heaven: “Do you realize that your parents who practiced the “dead again” brand of Christianity are in hell?” He was spellbound for a few seconds and then responded, “Who are you to judge anybody?’ My response was, “By labeling me a sinner and a ‘dead again’ Christian you have already judged me.” His silence was deafening.

For non-Christians, born again Christians belong to the evangelistic and Pentecostal branch of Christianity and claim to have repented and turned over their lives to God in a ceremonial manner. Sometimes the ritual may involve a rebaptism in a lake, river, or bathtub. “Dead again” Christians belong to the old denominations of Christianity and are not as loud or vocal as the Pentecostal, born again group in proclaiming their love for Jesus in their church services. They are more mellow, and their members do not speak gibberish. Speaking in tongues or gibberish is a hallmark of born-againism.

While there are some dead again religiomaniacs, most religiomaniacs are born again evangelistic Christians. It is not unusual to find these born-again Christians going to church daily instead of going to the farm, office, or going to school. Some of them are known to close their businesses to go to never-ending retreats and revivals. When their businesses fail due to neglect, they blame the Devil or curses invoked by fellow human beings on them. It is preposterous that somebody who is bathed in the blood of Jesus and protected by the fire of the Holy Ghost is susceptible to the influence of another human. By praying, they expect God to fulfill their needs by “dropping manna from heaven.” Anybody who expects manna to drop from heaven as in the bible is living in a religious paradise. It will never happen.

Beware of anybody who uses Amen as a period to end sentences or cannot complete a sentence without mentioning God. Their speeches do not match their actions. When they steal and succeed, it is an act of God. When they get caught stealing, the Devil made them steal. Every success is attributed to God and every failure is ascribed to the Devil.

Africastallestman believes the old “dead again” Christianity is preferable to the ”born again” variety marked by tithes, luxurious lifestyles, private jets, sex scandals, and divorce.