After presiding over the interrupted military action to capture Alhaji Abubakar Shekau, the Boko Haram leader, and the abduction of the 110 Dapchi School girls, Major General President Alhaji Muhammadu Buhari, the President of Nigeria and Commander-in-Chief of the Armed Forces of Federal Republic of Nigeria now wants to be addressed simply as ‘‘MUHAMMADU BUHARI, PRESIDENT OF THE FEDERAL REPUBLIC OF NIGERIA.’
Nigerians are wondering which animals presided over the above incidents. Could it be that, the same rats that took over the Presidential Office in Abuja, were commanding the Nigerian Armed Forces during those two incidents?

This above directive was contained in a warning letter issued to all ministries, departments and agencies of the federal government by Alhaji Boss Mustapha, the Secretary to the Government of the Federation. According to Boss, “All concerned persons should accordingly be guided and ensure strict compliance with the contents of this Circular.”

The Government is still deliberating on whether to hand over the “COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF OF THE ARMED FORCES OF FEDERAL REPUBLIC OF NIGERIA” to an Elephant or an Eagle. Given the recent successes of the Nigerian Super Eagles, some are rooting for the Eagles, while others want the king of the African jungle, the Elephant. Those against the Elephant point out the grounding of the National Carrier, “The Flying Elephant.”

Everyone in the Cabal agreed that Army Pythons, which did a marvelous job swallowing Biafrans, would be deployed against anyone violating the new policy.

Africastallestman has also learned that a Chimpanzee has declared an interest to contest the 2019 Nigerian Presidential Election on the platform of the Animal Farm Party of George Orwell.

Finally, Nigerians are watching the events with amusement. Nigerians are gullible but not that gullible. Since the APC Government cannot manage the affairs of Nigeria, Africastallestman is rooting for the Chimpanzee to win.

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