NIGERIAN COUNCIL OF TRADITIONAL RULERS APPROVES $10 BILLION FOR WAR ON INDISCIPLINE

The Nigerian Council of Traditional Rulers has approved the withdrawal of $10 billion from the Central Bank of Nigeria to prosecute the War on Indiscipline (WAI). The permanently permanent chairman of the council, His Eminence Alhaji Sa’ad Abubakar III, the Sultan of Sokoto made the announcement after an extraordinary meeting of the council held in Abuja last week. They faulted Alhaji Muhammadu Buhari for abandoning the war on indiscipline that could solve all the nation’s problems.

“We believe that the present agitations for restructuring and demands for government accountability are due to indiscipline,” Alhaji Abubakar added. He went on to describe a scenario whereby the current premium motor spirit (PMS) scarcity could be solved by discipline. Have every motorist queue in line to be maintained by soldiers in combat fatigues. Limit every motorist to 5 liters of PMS. Problem solved. If you want more PMS, queue in line again.”

When a journalist wanted to know how discipline will solve the problem of no electricity? The Chairman responded, “There will be a schedule for power shedding. If you have electricity outside your allotted schedule, the WAI Police will give you a public canning to serve as a deterrent to others.”

“Alhaji, why not use the $10 billion to provide electricity to every Nigerian?”

“You think that it is easy. If it was that easy, why did Gowon, Mohammed, Obasanjo, Shagari, Buhari, Babangida, Shonekan, Abacha, Abubakar, Obasanjo, Yar’Adua, Jonathan, and Buhari, not do it? Obasanjo could have done it in his third term but stupid Nigerians scuttled his third term ambition. Buhari needs a third term to deliver on his promises. Building refineries and power stations takes too long but discipline can solve any problem in days. Just watch and see the improvements with this disbursement of $10 billion. Finally, to the doubters, discipline has solved the IPOB agitation.”

“What of Boko Haram?”

“Those are foreign terrorists supported by billionaire Arab Slave traders. IPOB is a peaceful band of unemployed Igbo youths. Nigeria cannot fight billionaire Arab terrorists alone. When, America fighting with NATO (North Atlantic Treaty Organization) defeats ISIS, Al Qaeda, and the Taliban, you can pose the question to me again.”

As the atmosphere was becoming tense, Alhaji Abubakar walked out of the Aso Rock Conference Hall, ending the interview.