AFRICASTALLESTMAN INTERVIEWS RUSSIAN PRESIDENT VLADIMIR PUTIN.
President Vladimir Putin is a busy strongman. After several years of trying, we finally tracked him down at his dacha at the Ural Mountains. He had just strangulated a bear that attacked him with his bare hands. Our crew caught a glimpse of the bear taking its last gasping breaths. The Russian President was dressed in khaki cargo shorts and a white sleeveless t-shirt. It appeared that his bulging muscles ripped the sleeves off.
Sir, you must be the strongest President in the world?
Africastallestman, you got that right. I am going to table a proposal at the Security Council next week that all future inter-country disputes be settled by presidential arm wrestling. Russia will rule the world as long as I am President of Russia.
I was expecting to see a tall handsome, ebony black man. You are handsome but not that tall.
Why do you call yourself Africastallestman?
Sir, are those muscles real?
Can I touch them?
Go ahead. They are not fake, like your fake news.
Africastallestman feels President Putin’s biceps and they were rock solid as granite.
Sir, no professional arm wrestler will accept your challenge, much less a President. They address me as Africastallestman because I see things that much taller Africans cannot see. It is my thought process that is tall, not my physique.
I feel sorry for Africa. Africa is a victim of serial rape. First raped by the Europeans, followed by the Americans, now the Chinese. Under Communism, during the Cold War, we tried to help and liberated Angola and Mozambique from colonialism with our Cuban friends.
No more, “Russia first.” My friend, President Donald Trump is trying to emulate Russia but his “America First” is late to the game.
The West has placed economic sanctions on your country for invading and annexing Crimea. Why don’t you just pull out of Crimea?
The Western leaders are hypocrites. Did they complain when America invaded Grenada, Nicaragua, Iraq, and Afghanistan?
The Soviet Union stockpiled nuclear weapons in Ukraine. With the fall of the Soviet Union, the Americans under the guise of disarmament transferred those weapons to the Crimea. Crimea, a part of Russia was given to Ukraine in 1954 but since Ukrainians want to join the European Union, we are taking back our gift.
A nuclear war almost ensued in 1962 over the Cuban Missile Crisis. Cuba is 90 miles from the United States. Crimea is in Russia. A Chechen terrorist can load a few of these dirty nuclear bombs in a Lada, play the Russian National Anthem to confuse the border guards and explode the bombs in the Red Square, Moscow or in St. Petersburg.
Mr. President, are you stating that you invaded and annexed Crimea because Ukraine was stockpiling Weapons of Mass Destruction (WMD) in the Crimea? Where is your evidence?
I will show you the evidence as soon as President W. Bush shows the world the evidence of WMD he found in Iraq. No nation placed sanctions on the United States for violating international law but they think that they can pick on Russia.
Russia is now the main power broker in Syria. Soon we will be teaching the Saudis a lesson in Yemen. The hypocritical West folds its hands and watches as cowardly Saudi pilots drop bombs on children, women, schools, hospitals, dogs, and cows.
A patriotic 12-year-old Soviet student from St. Petersburg interfered with the US Presidential Election.
Imagine what the FSB (Federal Security Service of the Russian Federation) and the SVR (Foreign Intelligence Service) can do?
That’s why President Trump believes that the Russian State did not do it.
There is no doubt that Russia has reclaimed its place of pride in the world. You are doing a good job.
Is it true that there will be a referendum to make you President for life?
I will be President, as long the people of Russia want me. I leave it to God.
Thank you for your time, Mr President.
You are welcome.