THE NIGERIAN

The Nigerian is baked by the Sun,
Drenched by tropical rains,
Flooded by tropical storms,
Battered by tropical winds, and
Has all sources of electricity,
Yet, lacking the luxury of electricity,
Becomes adept at maneuvering in darkness.

Stagnant water becomes potable water,
Collected in pots and pans,
For cooking and drinking,
Unless you can afford plastic sachet water.
Sachet water as in sources of
Diarrhea, dysentery, and diseases.
Some diseases yet to be named.

Encumbered with diseases,
With roads as death traps,
Water as disease vectors,
The Nigerian has a short life expectancy.
Nigerians do not dare get sick,
As the health facilities will accelerate your demise,
Unless you can afford India, Dubai, or London.

Nigerians are stalked by Kidnappers,
Hunted by Fulani Terrorist Herdsmen and
Brazenly decapitated by Terrorists,
While the military hunkers and cowers,
As the terrorists also terrorize the military.
The police also harasses, extorts, and terrorizes
The hapless Nigerian citizen.

Communication is abysmal and expensive,
As messages are transmitted nowhere – MTN,
While your credit dwindles,
The phones operators fatten
Their foreign bank accounts and
The foreign bank accounts of their
Enabling Nigerian Polithiefians.

Food becomes a luxury,
As hunger creates pliancy to adversity,
Maternal, infant and child mortality skyrocket.
Adults steeled by suffering resort to jokes.
The Nigerian minimizes disasters by joking,
Every calamity becomes a joke.
Laughter is the panacea.

Amused by Nollywood,
Paralyzed by religion,
Impoverished by tithing,
Duped by religious clerics,
Prayer replaces productivity.
Add superstition and unattainable miracles,
And the situation is hopeless.

Played by politicians.
Humbled by hunger.
Racked by the recession.
Buffeted by corruption, the Nigerian
Survives despite all vicissitudes,
Ranking high in world happiness index.
Imagine the utopia, if living conditions improve.
Welcome to Nigeria!