ZONING IS THE PANACEA

Nigerians love zoning of political offices.
Why only political offices?
For equity, justice, and fair pay,
Zoning can solve every Nigerian problem.
Let the zoning commence.

85% poverty rate in the North,
Zone some to the Southern States.
Northerners with four wives,
Zone some of their wives to the Southern States.
Who does not like variety in sex?

100% Almajiris in the North,
Zone 50% to the Southern States.
80% of the homeless in the Northern States,
Zone some to the Southern States to equilibrate.
The displaced “homed” Southerners will build up the North.

100% of the oil is in the South,
Northerners own 80% of the oil blocks including Emirs.
No traditional ruler with oil in his backyard has an oil block.
Revoke some of the Northern oil block allottees,
And hand them over to Southerners.

90% of the beggars are in Northern Nigeria.
Try the Fashola method.
Move them to the South in the middle of the night,
In Julius Berger style trailer buses.
These buses are illegal in Germany.

All the Security Chiefs from Northern Nigeria,
Zone half to the South to engender a National sense of security.
85% illiteracy in the North,
Move the Southern literates to the North,
And the Northern illiterates to the South.

A simple procedure, zoning,
Can solve Nigeria’s problems,
In a flash without restructuring or secession.
Zoning may be the panacea to Nigeria’s problems.
What an elegant idea!

Africastallestman urges Nigeria’s politicians to do the right thing, zone, baby, zone!