GOD WARNS NIGERIANS!

“You do not have to invoke my name for useless mundane tasks,” said God in a warning to “religious” Nigerians. God made the remark yesterday when he overheard a Nigerian saying, “You’ll go to the toilet by the grace of God.” This incident was recorded in Ijesha, Lagos, when Mr. Okoro visiting his friend, Mr. Bolaji had asked to use the toilet. Mr. Bolaji responded with, “You’ll use the toilet by the grace of God.” God was so incensed that he wanted to send Mr. Bolaji to heaven immediately but relented because of his two small children.

A reporter from Heavenly Times inquired into why most prayer requests by Nigerians are not honored by God. God responds, “Those Nigerians have too many prayer requests, by the time I prioritize their requests, they are already making new requests.” That’s why their prayer requests are not being answered. They are also too greedy. And any time they mention my name, I am distracted from what I am doing because as God, I must acknowledge any mention of my name.

In view of Nigerians’ unprecedented prayer requests, and constant use of my name in vain, I, God, is warning Nigerians to desist from such practices, or they would continue to have their prayers unanswered.