THE ANSWERING MACHINE THAT TALKS BACK.

“You have reached an automated answering machine. All calls without caller identification are immediately terminated. If you are right-handed, press 1, left-handed press 2, and if you are a bill collector, press 3. Right-handed messages are returned between 5 and 6pm, and left-handed messages returned between 6 and 7pm. Messages from bill collectors are returned to sender, so do not bother to leave a message if you are a bill collector. For bill collectors, please call back later when my boss is available. For others, if you do not hear from my boss within 48 hours, please call back as I may have mistakenly deleted your message. You are now being disconnected as your call has reached the one-minute limit. Thank you and may the rest of your day be great.”