NO SUB-SAHARAN AFRICAN COUNTRY SHOULD BE POOR
The practice of witchcraft, voodoo, and magic is widespread across sub-Saharan Africa. Africans have the power to fly in the dead of the night over long distances as witches or wizards to bite and suck the blood of their adversaries. An amulet or charm prepared by a voodoo African priest worn around your body can make you impervious to bullets. An African priest can put a curse on you from long distances that may make a female infertile, blind you, strike you down with a stroke or heart attack. Some, usually very poor witch doctors can double your money or make your business more prosperous. If you want to know why these money doublers are poor, their answer is simple: “It is a gift from God. I can only double other peoples’ money and not mine.”
In fiscal 2015, the US military spent almost 2 billion dollars on armored vehicles to protect its troops all over the world. This spending increases every year at a rate higher than inflation. A cheaper African alternative will provide soldiers in a combat zone with amulets or charms that would make them bullet-proof. For a few more dollars the soldiers can be turned into flying witches and wizards. All these can be accomplished at a cost of less than 2 billion dollars. While you need to maintain, refurbish, and replace armored vehicles, these amulets or charms that confer on you the ability to fly undetected at night, and become impervious to bullets, once purchased lasts you a lifetime. Imagine the bewilderment and disarray in the ranks of the enemy when suddenly in the middle of the night, invincible US troops armed with M-15s, grenades, and Javelin missiles are suddenly in their midst. Since these US troops are invincible, courtesy of African voodoo doctors, any attempts by the enemy to counterattack is useless as bullets including rocket-propelled grenades fly off the uniforms of the US troops without causing any harm!
Why are African nations sitting on this exportable gold mine? Some Africans believe that African voodoo is only effective on Africans. The more likely African explanation is that African charms and amulets lose their potency once they cross a big ocean or sea. I am proposing a solution. African Nations can supply US troops in Iraq, Afghanistan, and Europe without crossing any ocean or sea preserving potency. Some economists estimate that sub-Saharan African countries could be earning over 2 billion dollars in revenue yearly from voodoo sales to Europe and America. I hope that African leaders would take advantage of this revenue stream to boost their economies and vanquish poverty. If America and Europe can export “voodoo pills” that cure diabetes and high blood pressure to Africa, it is about time that Africa responds by exporting the African brand of voodoo to Europe and America.