NEWS FLASH! Abuja, Nigeria – Top APC (All Progressives Congress) members are abandoning their plush mansions in the highbrow Asokoro District of Abuja and relocating to 5-star hotels after their historic defeat of the PDP in the March 28, 2015 Nigerian Presidential Elections. An investigation by FACTUS revealed that their residencies have been invaded by rats that have decamped from the PDP (Peoples Democratic Party). These fat rodents some as huge as human beings sensing the diminished leftovers from the PDP dinner tables decided to decamp en masse to the triumphant APC. Their arrival in the APC homes startled the APC rats that had hitherto enjoyed a relative serenity and were satisfied with the meager droppings from the APC dinner tables while it was the opposition party. Their dreams of getting fat were dashed by the PDP rats that threatened them with physical violence if they did not leave voluntarily. Β The APC rats have consequently all decamped to KOWA party residences in the Kubwa District of Abuja and have vowed to return to their former residences realizing that KOWA will never win any election in Nigeria. The rat race has begun, and humans may suffer the consequences.

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