BROKEN NEWS
NIGERIAN WITCHES AND WIZARDS TO INTERCEPT NEWS!
Worried about the barrage of unsavory, unflattering, and odious statistics on the economy, crime, and infrastructure, the Nigerian Government may contract Witches and Wizards to intercept bad news in the air before it lands on computers, smartphones, televisions, and other ikpulities.
The Government has concluded that the arrest of the purveyors of unsavory news, that is news that is unsavory to the Government but represents the true state of affairs, is akin to medicine after death.
Negotiations with the witches and wizards are in an advanced stage and the only stumbling block is the contractual amount—billions vs trillions of Naira.
The Toadies are advising Tinubu to take immediate drastic action to stem the tsunami of bad news or kiss his reelection goodbye.
—Factus reporting from Ibadan at the site of the recent stampede!
35 minors dead in Nigerian carnival stampede, police confirm
https://tribune.com.pk/story/2517108/35-minors-dead-in-nigerian-carnival-stampede-police-confirm