OKIJA SHRINE AND POLITICAL BRIGANDRY IN SOUTH EASTERN NIGERIA

“Take everything off.”
“Take everything off.”
“No more Ngige shenanigans.”
“No more Bibles in your underwear.”
“Take all your underwears off.”

Newly selected LGA Chairpersons
from one South Eastern State are gathered
in the nude at Okija Shrine for oath-taking
following their selection as LGA Chairpersons
in a shambolic election organized by the
Arbmana Dependent Electoral Commision.

“Alusi Okija, are you ready.”
“I am at command, yOUR eXCELLENSHI.”
“Chairman, Ndiolumbe Local Government Area,
you are first.”

Chairman, Ndiolumbe LGA
cHIEF, sIR, dR., eNGINEER Ọnyeọri Ọnyeama
lays down flat on his tommy before Alusi Okija.

“Wait! Wait!! Wait!!!”
“Chief of Protocol, have all signed
their undated letters or resignation? “

“Yes, God, sorry yOUR eXCELLENSHI,
they have all signed except one and
that one is not here.”

Ceremony commences:
“I, cHIEF, sIR, dR., eNGINEER Ọnyeọri Ọnyeama
hereby swear that
all monetary allocations to
Ndiolumbe LGA must be withdrawn
from the Bank of Fraud and deposited
in the Governor’s bedroom
within 48 hours of receipt.”

“If the allocation arrives at night
and no commercial transportation
is available, I am authorized to
use some of the allocation to hire a
Keke Napep to transport the money.”

“Failure to keep this agreement or
reveal this agreement to the EFCC
will result in Amadioha simultaneously
striking me and my first child dead
at mgbachi in full public view. “

“Do you agree and accept these
conditions of your selection?”
“I want you to say yes, first to
Alusi Okija and then to the Governor.”

“Yes Alusi Okija.”
“Yes Governor.”

cHIEF, sIR, dR., eNGINEER Ọnyeọri Ọnyeama
does as he is told and becomes
another pOLITHIEFIAN involved in
the fleecing and pauperization of
Nigeria and Nigerians as in Thievocracy.