AFRICASTALLESTMAN INTERVIEWS FESTUS KEYAMO, NIGERIA’S AVIATION MINISTER

AFRICASTALLESTMAN:
Excuse me, does the Minister know that I am here for our interview?

FESTUS KEYAMO:
Africastallestman,  I am Festus Keyamo, Nigeria’s Minister of Aviation.

AFRICASTALLESTMAN:
Sorry for not recognizing you, you are too young to be a Minister in Nigeria. Good afternoon,  Honorable Minister.

FESTUS KEYAMO:
Good afternoon, Africastallestman.

AFRICASTALLESTMAN:
I am thrilled by your advocacy for Nigerian airlines but I am also disappointed by your kid glove treatment of foreign airlines, especially British Airways.
Are you afraid of the British?
Do they have anything adverse on you?

FESTUS KEYAMO:
Thank you, Africastallestman, I am glad that my efforts are being appreciated especially my push for aircrafts to be dry-leased instead of wet-leased to Nigerian airlines.
Festus Keyamo, afraid of the  British, is that a joke?

AFRICASTALLESTMAN:
Yes, yes, this is the Festus of the old, the firebrand Senior Advocate of Nigeria—SAN.
Are you aware that Air Peace has no landing slots at Heathrow Airport?
Are you aware that Air Peace deposited 1 billion pounds with the aviation authorities in the UK as surety?
A surety that bears no interest and will be refunded after Air Peace is de-winged and bankrupted by an orchestrated conspiracy.

FESTUS KEYAMO:
I heard those allegations but I thought they were fake news. Africastallestman confirming them means they are real.

AFRICASTALLESTMAN:
Now that you are informed, I suggest that:
1. British Airways’ landing rights be moved from Lagos Airport to Abeokuta Airport and from Abuja Airport to Minna Airport.
2. British Airways must be forced to deposit 1 billion pounds with the aviation authorities in Nigeria or their landing rights will be canceled.
3. Landing slots commensurate with the landing slots given to British Airways at  Lagos and Abuja Airports must be given to Air Peace at Heathrow and Gatwick Airports.

FESTUS KEYAMO:
Africastallestman, you read my mind, as Nigeria’s Aviation Minister, I must protect the interest of Nigerian carriers on international routes and save the country’s foreign reserves.
I notice that greedy and unscrupulous foreign carriers are crashing their inflated airfares to de-wing and bankrupt Air Peace.
It won’t happen under my watch.

I shall enact a rule mandating that once fares are significantly and dramatically lowered overnight by any airline, foreign or domestic, those fares must stay at that level for six months.
After six months, those fares must not increase by more than ten percent in six months.
This will prevent predatory pricing by foreign airlines trying to milk the Nigerian economy by lowering their fares and raising them once Nigerian carriers are crippled.

AFRICASTALLESTMAN:
Thanks, Honorable Minister,  if you can sell Tinubu to the Nigerian public, there is nothing that you cannot accomplish.
Thank you for accommodating me on such short notice.

FESTUS KEYAMO:
Who wouldn’t jump at the opportunity to be interviewed by Africastallestman?
The Ghana-must-go by the door is yours.

AFRICASTALLESTMAN:
Thanks, Honorable Minister, I have refused brown envelopes and you want to give me a bullion van?
No thanks, my  Keke Napep is waiting.

FESTUS KEYAMO:
You are a different African.

AFRICASTALLESTMAN:
Thank you and good evening.