TINUBU’S DRUG FORFEITURE CASE DISMISSED BY SHARIA MAGISTRATE!

MAGISTRATE ALHAJI OLAKANKPO:
Are you Chief, Alhaji, Otunba, Baale, Sir, Jagabond Bola Ahmed Adekunle Tinubu?

TUNUBU:
Yes, my Imam.

MAGISTRATE ALHAJI OLAKANKPO:
Are you an Islamic Muslim?

TINUBU:
Yes, my Imam.

MAGISTRATE ALHAJI OLAKANKPO:
Did anyone force you to be tried under Sharia law?

TINUBU:
No, my Imam.

MAGISTRATE ALHAJI OLAKANKPO:
Did the US police find any white heroin when they searched your Chicago house in 1992?

TINUBU:
No, my Imam.

MAGISTRATE ALHAJI OLAKANKPO:
Were you aware that white heroin dealers used your accounts to deposit drug proceeds?

TINUBU:
No, my Imam, they hacked into my account.

MAGISTRATE ALHAJI OLAKANKPO:
Did you use any of the money deposited in your account to buy agbado, eba, beans, cassava, or kpomo?

TUNUBU:
No, my Imam.

MAGISTRATE ALHAJI OLAKANKPO:
How can anyone accuse you of money laundering?

TINUBU:
Ask Atiku and his PDP running dogs.

MAGISTRATE ALHAJI OLAKANKPO:
Jagabond, you are hereby acquitted and discharged of drug money laundering charges.

TINUBU:
Thanks, my Imam.

MAGISTRATE ALHAJI OLAKANKPO:
Furthermore, anyone accusing Tinubu of laundering drug money is hereby sentenced to twelve lashes with a bulala in the public square.

TINUBU:
Thank you, thank you, my Imam.