MAZI NNAMDI KANU FEATURES AS KING CHARLES III INTERVIEWS ALHAJI MUHAMMADU BUHARI IN LONDON
KING CHARLES III:
Good afternoon, Alhaji President.
ALHAJI BUHARI:
Good afternoon, Sir, sorry, King Charles.
KING CHARLES III:
Are they treating you well at the Hospital for Unknown Illnesses, London?
ALHAJI BUHARI:
Yes Sir, sorry, King, my treatment was wonderful. I was admitted in the section reserved for Members of the House of Lords.
KING CHARLES III:
Wonderful, wonderful. This is your seventh trip to London in 2022, have you ever thought of buying a house?
ALHAJI BUHARI:
Not really Sir, sorry, King. I’ll get your appellation right one day.
KING CHARLES III:
You know you can save tons of money by buying a house instead of living in the Hospital for Unknown Illnesses. Our doctors do home visits and it is cheaper.
ALHAJI BUHARI:
Not really King, the Nigerian Government pays for everything in addition to paying me £5,000 in estacode everyday. My cumulative estacode can buy the most expensive mansion in London. As the leading anti-corruption fighter in Africa, I lead by example.
KING CHARLES III:
Really! M15 informs me that your children own houses in expensive Knightsbridge, London. Your children’s houses are yours since your children have no means of livelihood.
ALHAJI BUHARI:
King, is anything secret form you?
KING CHARLES III:
My purpose of inviting you is to inquire why you are illegally incarcerating one of my subjects, Mazi Nnamdi Kanu, who has been discharged and acquitted by a court of competent jurisdiction?
ALHAJI BUHARI:
It is not me that is detaining MNK, it is Alhaji Abubakar Malami who wants to retry him with Sharia law. As you are aware Nigeria operates two parallel judicial systems. If the Sharia Court of Appeal sets him free, he’ll be released immediately.
KING CHARLES III:
The whole world is watching. Don’t forget you may end up at the Hague after your tenure for doing nothing about Terrorists and Terrorism ravaging Nigeria
ALHAJI BUHARI:
These Terrorists are not Fulanis. They are Terrorists from Libya who moved to Nigeria after NATO killed Muammar Gaddafi.
Fulani Terrorists only carry sticks and knives. These Islamic Terrorists can shot down airplanes and bomb trains.
KING CHARLES III:
You are repeating the same tales you recited in Washington, DC to the US President, Donald Trump.
M16 informs me that these Terrorists are mainly Fulanis with some Kanuri elements.
Alhaji Kawu Baraje and Alhaji Nasir el-Rufai have confirmed that these Terrorists are Fulanis who are being paid huge ransom by your government to continue their carnage.
This has to stop immediately. I do not want to see Nigeria break up.
ALHAJI BUHARI:
Yes, King. May I go now?
KING CHARLES III:
Yes, after you finish your tea and biscuits.
ALHAJI BUHARI:
Thanks for inviting me to London before any other African leader. Naija no dey carry last.
KING CHARLES III:
Whispering to his girlfriend, sorry, Queen Consort, Camilla, where did Nigeria find this man? Nigeria is blessed with intelligent persons with integrity. And he is pushing a convicted drug runner as his successor.
Chei, Nigeria dey for trouble!
QUEEN CONSORT:
I didn’t know you spoke pidgin English.
KING CHARLES III:
Britain no go carry last.