AFRICASTALLESTMAN INTERVIEWS ALHAJI GENERAL MUHAMMADU BUHARI, PRESIDENT OF NIGERIA ON HIS “NEXT LEVEL” PLAN FOR NIGERIA
AFRICASTALLESTMAN:
Congratulations on your “riglection©️” as President of Nigeria
ALHAJI GENERAL MUHAMMADU BUHARI:
What is “riglection?”
AFRICASTALLESTMAN:
University of Okija defines it as elections won by rigging the polls
ALHAJI GENERAL MUHAMMADU BUHARI:
That’s your opinion. If I rigged, why is the whole world congratulating me? I am ready for the “Next Level.”
AFRICASTALLESTMAN:
By “Next Level” do you mean consolidation of Fulanization, Islamization, and Emiratization?
ALHAJI GENERAL MUHAMMADU BUHARI:
Yes of course.
AFRICASTALLESTMAN:
You plan to set up a committee to investigate communal clashes in Nigeria. The Fulanis killing people in Nigeria are not part of the Nigerian Community according to Alhaji Mallam Nasir El Rufai. How can foreigners be part of the Nigerian Community?
You also specifically mentioned Jukun – Tiv fights. Why?
You condemn Jukun/Tiv clashes but become deaf and dumb when Fulanis kill Jukuns and Tivs.
ALHAJI GENERAL MUHAMMADU BUHARI:
When Jukuns fight Tivs, Fulanis retaliate by killing Beroms. When Umuleri fights Aguleri people, Fulanis retaliate by killing Edos. When Ife fights Modakeke, Fulanis retaliate by killing Nimbo people. When motor park touts factions fight in Lagos, Fulanis retaliate by killing Adara people.
Fulanis being very kind and upright Muslims do not like injustice.
Since they are not from Nigeria, they cannot distinguish between the tribes.
They mistake Berom people for Jukuns since they love Tivs more than Jukuns.
They also mistake Edo people for Aguleri people since they love Umuleri people.
When they realize their mistake, they will attack the erring community.
The killings in Aguleri and Jukun towns are to correct their past mistakes.
AFRICASTALLESTMAN:
Africastallestman suspects that your committee is a diversion to give the Fulanis more time to slash, burn, and overrun Nigeria as they did Hausa land?
ALHAJI GENERAL MUHAMMADU BUHARI:
Am I glad you are not a Nigerian?
Yes, the committee is a ruse. It will also give me immunity at the ICC (International Criminal Court) during my trial for crimes against humanity.
AFRICASTALLESTMAN:
Why are these Fulanis not fomenting trouble in Ghana, Gambia, Niger, Liberia, etc.?
ALHAJI GENERAL MUHAMMADU BUHARI:
The Ashantis of Ghana do not play. They are not as cowardly as Nigerians. We tried that shit in Ghana and they shot most of our cows and were going to start killing Fulanis until we relocated to Nigeria.
AFRICASTALLESTMAN:
You recently gave 100 billion Naira to the Fulani Terrorist Organization – MACBAN, followed by sequestering 1 trillion Naira to establish RUGA or Cattle Settlements in every local government in Nigeria by fiat.
Are there budgetary allocations for these expenditures?
ALHAJI GENERAL MUHAMMADU BUHARI:
What is a budget?
AFRICASTALLESTMAN:
It is a written estimate of the Government’s income and expenses proposed by the Executive and approved by the Legislature for a time frame.
ALHAJI GENERAL MUHAMMADU BUHARI:
Africastallestman, this is Nigeria and not Britain. The Nigerian budget exists on paper. I am the decider. Didn’t you see the Deputy Senate President, Alhaji Omo-Agege, kneel before me?
I can have the DSS (Department of State Security) seal off the National Assembly and arrest every Legislator.
As President, I operate above the Constitution. I am watching the Presidential Election Tribunal closely. I may have to remove any non-compliant Judge. I have replaced the Chief Justice of Nigeria with Chief Imam of Nigeria.
AFRICASTALLESTMAN:
You claimed that Atiku is not Nigerian, are you going to submit to DNA testing to prove that you are not Sudanese as claimed by Atiku?
ALHAJI GENERAL MUHAMMADU BUHARI:
I have instructed Alhaji Ahmed Lawan, the Senate President, and Alhaji Femi Gbajabiamila, the Speaker of the House of Representatives to prepare a bill for my assent, making it illegal and punishable by amputation, of the dominant hand, to request a DNA sample from a sitting or dead President.
AFRICASTALLESTMAN:
Aren’t the Executive, Judiciary, and Legislature different and equal arms of the Nigerian Government? Are you also suggesting that the real Buhari is dead by including dead Presidents?
ALHAJI GENERAL MUHAMMADU BUHARI:
Either you are kidding, or you smoke indian hemp.
I am the law, next question please.
AFRICASTALLESTMAN:
You mentioned diversity as being Nigeria’s strength but in your recent press release through Garba Shehu, as usual, you did not condemn Fulani Herdsmen killing non-Fulanis. Does that promote Nigeria’s diversity?
ALHAJI GENERAL MUHAMMADU BUHARI:
Yes, Nigeria is not diverse enough. We do not have Fulani Settlements in every Local Government Area making the nation less diverse. Having Fulanis in every local government area will promote Nigeria’s diversity.
AFRICASTALLESTMAN:
Will killing off other tribes make Nigeria more diverse?
ALHAJI GENERAL MUHAMMADU BUHARI:
Fulanis do not kill indiscriminately. We kill people refusing to allow Fulani cows eat their crops or allow Fulanis to settle in their towns.
Just as Fulanis created Hausa-Fulanis which is a stronger tribe than Hausa or Fulani separately, I’ll create Yoruba-Fulani, Tiv-Fulani, Igbo-Fulani, Ijaw-Fulani, etc, Insha Allah.
Allah brought the Fulanis to Nigeria as they brought the Israelis to Palestine.
AFRICASTALLESTMAN:
Did you mention Palestine? You are a supporter of a sovereign Palestinian State, but you refuse the creation of a Biafran State in Nigeria.
Isn’t this a double standard?
ALHAJI GENERAL MUHAMMADU BUHARI:
Allah does not want a Biafran State in Nigeria.
Allah wants Nigeria, Fulanized, Islamized, and Emiratized. Sharia law shall become the law of the land.
AFRICASTALLESTMAN:
You have been accused of being anti-Christians and empowering Fulani Herdsmen of which you are a member to kill Christians.
ALHAJI GENERAL MUHAMMADU BUHARI:
Firstly, I am a cattle rancher, not a herdsman. That’s why I want to “ruganize” the cattle trade in Nigeria by building RUGAs in every Local Government Area.
Secondly, my Vice President is a Pastor of the biggest Pentecostal Church in the world. If I am anti-Christian, he would have resigned.
Thirdly, I worship with Pastor Enoch Adeboye of the Redeemed Christian Church of God (RGGC) and he prays for me.
AFRICASTALLESTMAN:
Would you allow a Christian to worship at the mosque with you?
ALHAJI GENERAL MUHAMMADU BUHARI:
Yes, if the Christian renounces Christianity.
AFRICASTALLESTMAN:
Did you renounce Islam to worship with Pastor Adeboye?
ALHAJI GENERAL MUHAMMADU BUHARI:
That would be Apostasy punishable by stoning to death!
AFRICASTALLESTMAN:
What will Jesus, the Christian God, and the Nigerian Gods think about your plan?
ALHAJI GENERAL MUHAMMADU BUHARI:
To each, their God, Allah, the Islamic God has been good to the Fulanis in Nigeria. Our terrorist arm is named Miyetti Allah for a reason.
AFRICASTALLESTMAN:
You may add Ruganization©️ of Nigeria to the list.
ALHAJI GENERAL MUHAMMADU BUHARI:
Africastallestman, you never cease to amaze me with your word skills. I must go for my fourth prayer of the day.
Garba Shehu has your brown envelope.
AFRICASTALLESTMAN:
Thank you, Alhaji President, you can use the brown envelope to feed the starving “prisoners” in the IDPs (Internally Displaced Persons) Camps in the North East.