AFRICASTALLESTMAN INTERVIEWS NIGERIA’S PRESIDENT, ALHAJI MAJOR GENERAL MUHAMMADU BUHARI IN DECEMBER 2018, ON HIS STRATEGY TO WIN RE-ELECTION.

AFRICASTALLESTMAN INTERVIEWS NIGERIA’S PRESIDENT, ALHAJI MAJOR GENERAL MUHAMMADU BUHARI IN DECEMBER 2018, ON HIS STRATEGY TO WIN RE-ELECTION.

Africastallestman:
Jabbama be salla Kirismati!, Alhaji President.

President Buhari:
Na gode da kai ma

Africastallestman:
You did not respond in Fulfulde?

President Buhari:
Africastallestman, my treatment affected the part of my brain that speaks Fulfulde. I also cannot give you details of my illness since it is unknown.
The best doctors at the London Hospital for Unknown Illnesses, could not determine the nature of my illness.
I am fully recovered and feel and look younger.

Africastallestman:
Alhaji President, can you give me the contact information of the hospital?
My Nigerian friends may need them as most have triply aged since 2015, far beyond the natural aging process.

President Buhari:
Blame the PDP.

Africastallestman:
You have been at the helm since 2015.

President Buhari:
It took the PDP 16 years to create this mess and you want me to solve it in three years.
Haba!

Africastallestman:
Sorry Alhaji President, do you have to make the mess worse, before solving it?

President Buhari:
Have you heard about, “No pain, no gain?”
The gains will come with my re-election.
We will publish all our anti-corruption achievements through Alhaji Lie Mohammed and the people will decide.

Africastallestman:
I do not think that Nigerians will go for that.
No Nigerian believes Alhaji Lie Mohammed.
Would you blame them?
The man has Lie as his first name.
Why did you decide not to participate in the Presidential Debate?

President Buhari:
Me, Alhaji Integrity, on the same stage with corrupt politicians?
That’s the easiest way to get corrupted.
I can answer any questions if it is written.
In return, I will provide written answers with correct figures.
Mr. Peter Obi won the debate by giving wrong figures.

Africastallestman:
Wrong figures or not, Mr. Peter Obi won the debate. The figures were just icing on the cake. All figures on Nigeria including her population are estimates.
Alhaji President, if you avoid the Presidential Debate or send Professor Pastor Osinbajo, you’ll be voted out of office in February 2019.
It may confirm you are not Muhammadu but Jubrin from Sudan.
Are you afraid of a primary six certificate holder, debating intellectuals?

President Buhari:
Interview is over. Get out of my office immediately. Hello Mai Guard, get him out of here.
You are lucky you are not Nigerian, I would have had you arrested and thrown into prison.
You can ask Dasuki and El Zakzaky.
In Saudi Arabia, MBS will dice you into stew-sized pieces.

Africastallestman:
Thanks for your time, Alhaji President.

President Buhari:
Get the hell out of here.
Shege!

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