NIGERIA NEEDS GODMOTHERS IN POLITICS
Unless you are an oil block owner, criminal, monopolist, or bankrolled by a godfather, forget about running for political office in Nigeria. Statewide offices could consume as much as 10 billion Naira. At an official exchange rate of 400 Naira to one dollar, 25 million dollars is serious mula in any currency.
Nigeria operates a PAYV (Pay As You Vote) system. Votes are bought at all levels from primaries to the general election. Very few honest politicians, if there is a phrase like that, will marshal such resources. Aspiring politicians who do not fall into the aforementioned group will sign up with godfathers to advance their political ambitions.
Godfathers invest in politicians and expect a return on investment. They will only invest in candidates likely to loot the public treasury to repay the investment. Return on investment ranges from 100 to 500%. Candidates who supposedly profess Christianity or Islam are taken to voodoo shrines to execute binding agreements on terms of the investment. In extreme cases, undated but signed resignation letters are demanded by the godfathers. Failure to repay the investment will result in your forced resignation. Signatures do not lie.
Mothers are nurturing and are far more interested in good governance than fathers. Mothers have staged political protests in Nigeria beginning with the 1929 Aba Women’s Rebellion against indirect taxation by the British. It continues today in the form of grandmothers and mothers demonstrating naked against bad governance. No form of protest is more effective than thousands of naked women with buttocks as wrinkled as sun-dried prunes, and sagging breasts resembling flip-flops marching down a major public thoroughfare to protest their displeasure. Mothers desire good governance as bad economic times is reflected in their pots of soup.
Nigeria is blessed with wealthy women who inherited wealth or made their wealth through business. This untapped pool of women will make excellent political godmothers. Godmothers are likely to forgo the repayment of their investment in cash but would demand payment in kind and good governance. I sense a great opportunity for young men interested in politics. Why mess around with a sugar mummy? Convince your sugar mummy to become your godmother and sponsor you for elective office. You use her wealth to gain entry into the corridors of power and she uses her influence on you to ensure good governance. It is a win-win situation for both parties.
Africastallestman is off in search of a godmother!
7 thoughts on “NIGERIA NEEDS GODMOTHERS IN POLITICS”
Let me know how the search ends up.
As always, this piece is quite insightful
For those interested in this option, remember accounts may not be overdrawn!. Retribution for failure to pay return on investment is likely to be fatal!! “Hell hath no fury for a woman…….”!!!
For those interested in this option, remember accounts may not be overdrawn!. Retribution for failure to pay return on investment is likely to be fatal!! “Hell hath no fury like a woman…….”!!!
With two options, cash or kind, most godsons should pass the test but it is not for the faint of heart. No muchi, muchi (cheating) is allowed!
The inclusion of women in politics is a necessary process which would truly advance the state of governance in our country. Unfortunately the patriarchal nature of our society makes it difficult to say the least.
A few godmothers can change the picture.
Never thought about this. I am now interested in Nigerian politics. Please let me know when you get one, perhaps I can ride along with her friend. The ROI is promising…..for good governance, and I do not have to sign an agreement!