Nigerian President Muhammadu Buhari was recently forced to flee from London against the advice of his doctors. The din and commotion caused by the animated and disenchanted Nigerians demonstrating nightly outside his London residence, kept Buhari and his upscale neighbors awake and agitated. Powerless and without his enforcers – DSS (Department of State Security), Nigerian Police, Army and Fulani Herdsmen, he fled through the rear door of Abuja House, London to his waiting jet at Stansted Airport. He is currently in Abuja, and given the Yar’adua antecedents, Saudi Arabia is his next stop.

Thousands of hungry Nigerians obviously “happy with theIr state of hunger” flooded the Abuja Airport tarmac to welcome their returning President. Reality will set in once their demonstration stipends are exhausted. If unruly crowds can invade a major international airport, the security measures at Nigerian airports are suspect. Evil people can access secure locations once they support the extant government.

His doctors, obviously worried and angry at the protesters for abusing a sick man may have advised President Buhari to relocate to Saudi Arabia. They will continue to manage him while he is in Saudi Arabia. President Buhari is offering the use of his Presidential jet aircrafts, ex-gratis to his physicians to facilitate their travels from London to Riyadh/Jeddah. One of the jets in the Presidential fleet will be permanently parked in Saudi Arabia.

Garba Shehu, the eminent presidential spokesperson recently lambasted Nigerians for their “trenchant criticism” of the waste incurred by parking the Presidential jet at Stansted Airport. He claimed that international protocols demands that the Commander-in-Chief must have a waiting aircraft while visiting a foreign country for emergency evacuation. Garba Shehu wrote this protocol in his Abuja bedroom.

Erstwhile Uruguayan President Jose Mujica, who was also the Commander-in-Chief of the Uruguayan Armed Forces never had an aircraft, whether jet, propeller, blade, or paddle powered. He still visited foreign countries. British Prime Ministers are known to fly commercial jets and use public transportation such as the London Underground. In Nigeria, the politicians do not rehabilitate roads, but ply the motorable portions with sirens blazing; while their goons whip other road users onto the unmotorable portions, sometimes to their deaths. The British are known for breaking international protocols when it boosts their economy. Imagine the boost to British Airways passenger traffic, when David Cameron flew business class and not first class.

Buhari can fly Arik or Peace to boost his “austerity credentials.” Why would a sick President need to be ferried back to his warring country to command the military while an able and hearty Acting Presidential Coordinator Yemi Osinbajo is in charge? There is something called the internet or more basic, a communication device called a telephone that is available to any President for communication. Presidents can launch nuclear strikes while in Port Moresby for a head hunters’ convention!

British prime minister flies commercial to U.S., lesson for our politicians?

It is the height of “wickedness” for Nigerians to deny a citizen good medical care in London except when that citizen is their President and has denied his country good medical care by neglecting health infrastructure. He is also afflicted with an unknown illness, which may be the need for a foreign vacation, masquerading as an illness. This same President whilst a candidate, frowned on overseas medical excursions by Nigerians. Nigerian Presidents are not above the law but are the law. Their speeches are the law as the Acting Presidential Coordinator Yemi Osinbajo recently rewrote the law on hate speech with a speech.

There are several lessons to be learnt:
1. The “Our Mumu Don Do” protestors got their wish to force Buhari back to Nigeria but at what cost?
2. He still requires medical attention and may relocate to Saudi Arabia where the fees for his visiting London physicians will be doubled.
3. Saudi Arabia has zero tolerance for protesters.
4. Any protest against the King, visiting foreign Presidents, or any member of the Saudi Royal Family constitutes a capital offense followed by public beheading.
5. Violators may risk the separation of their heads from their bodies.
6. President Muhammadu Buhari can now govern Nigeria from Saudi Arabia through his Acting Presidential Coordinator Yemi Osinbajo through the end of his term.
7. Meanwhile the “Our Mumu Don Do” protestors will keep protesting in Abuja, where they will be assaulted by miscreants and street urchins, acting under the protection of the Police and DSS.
8. The Nigerian economy continues to hemorrhage as well-wishers unable to get a British visa to pay a sycophantic visit to Buhari are now trooping to Jedda to pay a goodwill message to the President.
9. The EFCC (Economic and Financial Crimes Commission) will redouble their efforts to find more looted money, hidden in warehouses, coffins, graveyards, and under mattresses to fund the President’s stay in Saudi Arabia. What about oil block thieves? They should be shaken down.
10. After multiple tear gassing and clobbering by the security forces and almajiris disguised as Buhari supporters, Charly Boy and his “My Mumu Don Pass” protestors tear their placards and go home.
11. The cost of treating the President for an undisclosed illness has just tripled. Protesting ends up costing Nigeria more financial hemorrhaging.

In Africa, the bizarre is the norm. Is it any wonder that the continent is stuck in neutral!

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