A CALL TO PRAYERS!
With all the mosques, synagogues, shrines, temples, and churches flooding the Nigerian religious landscape, coupled with the outward display of extreme and intense religiousity by Nigerians, the amount of hatred, graft, greed, shamelessness, and misanthropic misgovernment pervading the entire country will astound any astute observer. Is God uncaring? Is God deaf? Is God wicked? The obvious answer to all 3 questions is a resounding No.
Has any Nigerian ever thought that the reasons that God is impervious to our prayers is that granting our prayers will worsen the miserable socioeconomic, cultural, and political morass currently existing in the nation. Instead of praying for all of our despotic and misanthropic misrulers to die and go straight to Hell or die and return as rats, we are praying to be given an oil block or for us or our relatives to become the next Senate President, Speaker of the House or Governor. Instead of praying for electricity for everyone, we are praying to have the noisiest, smokiest, and biggest generator in the neighborhood. Instead of praying for landline telephones, we are praying to have the latest J-phones. Instead of praying for great, unselfish, non-parochial leadership, we are praying for egotistic, nepotistic, mediocre, bordering on moronic leadership. Instead of praying for good motorable roads, we are praying to own the most exotic cars and SUVs (SportUtility Vehicles). Our leaders go overseas to treat a common cold while neglecting to provide basic health care to our citizenry. No self-respecting God will acquiesce to such requests.
Therefore I am calling for new prayers. Our new prayers should be:
1. That all our money’s stashed in foreign accounts should be returned to us.
2. That the so-called “insecurity”vote be abolished.
3. That the constituency allowance be abolished.
4. That any officer holder who collected the security vote and used it for other purposes should die immediately.
5. Pray that whoever gave us this constitution should die and go to wherever it pleases his/her God.
6. Pray that all oil blocks currently in private hands be returned to the Nigerian State and all ill gotten wealth acquired by stealing our natural resources be returned to the state.
7. Implore God to ensure that all corrupt and irredeemable politicians die within one year of rigging themselves into office.
8. That all sycophants should sing themselves to death.
9. That our misleaders who gifted oil blocks to individuals without any public auction should die.
10. That any voter who sells his/her vote by collecting money or a quarter bag of rice from our vulture politicians will die before the election for which the money or rice was collected.
11. Finally that all materialistic, fake, evil, and wicked Pastors, Emirs, Chiefs, Alhajis, Alhajas, Obongs, Obis, Tors, Alfas, Dibias, Professors, Otunbas,, Igwes, Obas, Imams, Shamans, Native doctors, Juju Priests, and “Holy men” who defraud the gullible praying masses while enriching themselves and their immediate families should die.
12. And as a recent Internet video succinctly puts it “That any Nigerian leader who goes overseas for treatment must die.”
Some readers may cringe at the idea of wishing people death. It is the only curse that will change the dastardly behavior of Nigerian leaders because Nigerians fear death more than anything else but will easily kill another individual without any cause, not to talk about justifiable cause.
Any corrupt politician or civil servant will be terrified when every church, synagogue, temple, mosque, and shrine is praying for their demise. With the high level of superstition in Nigeria, these new prayers will have the desired result of sanitizing our body politic. Imagine a Nigerian leader going inside a church, temple, or mosque and everybody is praying for your death. The leader will probably die of a heart attack before getting home. Prayer warriors take notice!