TINUBU INTERVIEWED BY A JOURNALIST

Journalist:
Alhaji Tinubu, what did you have for lunch?

Tinubu:
I’ll call on El-Rufai, Joe Igbokwe, David Umahi, Dele Alake, and Betta Edu to answer that question.

El-Rufai:
The kpomo used in making the soup came from a Fulani cow.

Joe Igbokwe:
The cow was transported from Daura to Lagos by Ekene Dili Chukwu Transport Company.

David Umahi:
The yams are from Abakiliki, special yams I gave to Tinubu on his ninetieth birthday.

Dele Alake:
Alhaji Umahi, he ate Ijebu garri which I personally brought from Ijebu-Igbo. He ate your yams at breakfast.

Betta Edu:
Ekaette prepared special edikaikong for Jagabond today. I personally supervised her cooking.

Tinubu:
Now, you see why a team works best.

Journalist:
Do you remember where you were at lunch?

Tinubu:
Femi Fani-Kayode will answer that question.

Femi Fani-Kayode:
Useless journalist. Where did you get your training? I went to Eton and Oxford. I understand you attended the University of Okija. Next, you’ll want to know when he last peed on himself.
Please get the hell out of here before I womanhandle you!