AFRICASTALLESTMAN INTERVIEWS NIGERIA’S PRESIDENT ALHAJI MUHAMMADU BUHARI.

AFRICASTALLESTMAN INTERVIEWS NIGERIA’S PRESIDENT ALHAJI MUHAMMADU BUHARI.

Africastallestman:
Congratulations on your 85th birthday.

President Buhari:
Africastallestman, can any secret be kept from you? How did you find out that I am not 75?

Africastallestman:
I prefer to keep my sources secret since some of my informers are Boko Haram members. I guess that’s the reason that you are trying Boko Haram captives in secret. Who wan die?

President Buhari:
You may look young but you have the wisdom of Solomon. Where is my birthday present? The National Economic Council and the Nigerian Council of Traditional Rulers gave me $1 billion and $10 billion respectively. With those presents, I am guaranteeing the trouncing of Alhaji Atiku Abubakar in 2019.

Africastallestman:
You spent half of your tenure in a London hospital. Are you not concerned with the effects of the Presidency on your health?

President Buhari:
Insha Allah, I will be President, the people in the North love me. You know that the whole system is rigged to favour the North and the Fulanis who control the Hausas, control the North. As my Fulani cattle rearers kill and maim citizens of Plateau, Adamawa, and Benue States, their Governors are prostrating before me and urging me to run for a third term.

Africastallestman:
Do you mean second term?

President Buhari:
No, third term. My first term was as military co-President with Alhaji General Tunde Idiagbon.

Africastallestman:
There are rumors that you intend to run with Alhaji Bola Tinubu as your running mate. Are you not concerned with a Muslim-Muslim ticket?

President Buhari:
Concerned? The Muslims rule Nigeria. The Christian pastors are busy stealing from their congregations, buying jets, Rolls Royces, and Bentleys while the Imams are sending foot soldiers all over the country to win converts. Muslim Evangelists are prepared to die for Islam but the Christians are not.
I have ordered Pastor Yemi Osinbajo to decline the Vice Presidency position. Our great party, the APC (Alliance for Phony Change) will then force Alhaji Bola Tinubu to accept the nomination as Vice President.
Without Tinubu, I would never have been President. Tinubu would succeed me as President.

Africastallestman:
You still sound like you are a military commander.
For justice, equity, and fairness, shouldn’t the next President after your third term be Igbo?

President Buhari:
You are right, once a soldier, always a soldier.
You do not have justice, equity, and fairness, in our legal system and you expect that in politics. If there was justice, equity, and fairness in our legal system, I should have been disqualified from running since I claimed that rats ate my WASC results. Any judge who disqualifies me better be prepared to do battle with my baboons and monkeys. Blood will flow.
I warned that if I did not win in 2015 that blood will flow. What happened? I won.
The Igbos want Biafra. They should prepare to be President of Biafra. Our disappearance of Mazi Nnamdi Kanu and his Royal Father has put an end to the agitation for Biafra.

Africastallestman:
Are you not worried that the judges may rule against you in 2019 as payback for their harassment?

President Buhari:
The fear of Almajiri mob is the beginning of wisdom. The CCB, DSS, and EFCC may arrest and release you but an Almajiri mob will kill you and nothing will happen.

Africastallestman:
There are rumors that the South South, South East and North Central may form an alliance with Atiku to frustrate your third term ambition.

President Buhari:
I am not afraid of the alliance. Eleven billion dollars can accomplish a lot. The Igbo adults who vote can be bought. The Igbo youths will boycott the election. The North Central will be convinced to vote for me by the threat of unleashing Fulani Herdsmen on their communities.

Africastallestman:
Assuming that you win and your deafness and undisclosed illness return, what is your plan to continue in office?

President Buhari:
My double from Sudan, Alhaji Mohammed Jubrin will fill in for me until I recover. Every great leader has a double. I will not be the first or last President to have doubles. Saddam Hussein and Joseph Stalin had body doubles so did General Bernard Montgomery during World War II.

Africastallestman:
Thank you Alhaji President. With $11 billion, no one can stop you from achieving your third term dream. You beat Obasanjo to it.

President Buhari:
Thank you Africastallestman. You are doing a terrific job.

Comments always welcome.

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