PUBLIC ANNOUNCEMENT.
Please spare me the embarrassment of a public humiliation. I have sexually harassed and abused several pretty ladies during my career. I have pussy grabbed some, squeezed some bobbies, and possibly gone the hole way with some.
I sincerely apologize to my victims. I have set aside the sum of $20 million to settle all genuine claims. You may contact my attorney at 800 HAR ASSA to file a claim. if electronic communication is preferred, the email address is IHARASS@gmail.com.
You have 30 days from the date of publication of this notice to file your claim. Any claims received after 30 days will not be countenanced and be prepared for a vicious legal challenge if you dare sue me.
Signed
Dlanod Pmurt
Harasser-In-Chief.