HOW TO BOYCOTT THE NOVEMBER 18, 2017 ANAMBRA GUBERNATORIAL ELECTION

1. On November 15 to 17, 2017 go your local market and purchase azu (fish), okuku (chicken), or anu ofia (bush meat). If you like beef, cow leg, akpakwulu (tripe), ensure that it is from an efi Igbo (Igbo cow), not foreign Fulani cow. Purchase uziza (spice), utazi (leaf) and other condiments. For the “swallow,” akpu (cassava), wheat, osikapa (rice), or unele (plaintain) will suffice.
2. Wake up at 6:00 am on November 18, 2017 and start cooking. Meanwhile chill some Nkwu enu in your fridge if you have a power generator. If you do not, store your Nkwu enu in a clay pot surrounded by water in a cool part of the house. This is local refrigeration.
3. Send a bulk SMS (Short Message Service) by text to remind your friends to assemble at your house by 10:00 am.
4. Go to your archives and retrieve a recording of Rangers International vs Mahalla, insert in your CD player and let the fun begin. Assemble some Osadebe, Celestine Ukwu, Seven-Seven, Obiligbo, Oriental Brothers, and Oliver deCoque music and dance your way into the dawn.
5. After the party, discuss how you can contribute to the Biafran struggle and set the date for your next event preferably in one month at another guest’s house.
6. Disperse by 6:00 pm to avoid getting entangled by venomous pythons on your way home.